Believe It Or Not?
Texas CPAs Share Their Funniest Tax Tales

DALLAS — Have you heard the one about the magic accounting wand? The puppies? The “ought to be” deductions? Believe it or not, the following tales are real-life tax stories told by Texas certified public accountants. No names are being used to protect the innocent.

With A Wave Of The Magic Accounting Wand

A married couple entered their CPA’s office with a large box of unsorted receipts from their business. They upended the box on the CPA’s small conference table and proceeded to go through the receipts with the CPA. They picked up each receipt and announced to the CPA what it was for – gas, copy paper, tires, etc.

After they had gone through the pile, they asked the CPA to tell them on the spot what they owed, apparently expecting the CPA to wave his magic accounting wand over the pile of receipts and divine the couple’s tax liability.

No, Puppies, No Puppies!

A couple arrived at a CPA’s office to prepare their tax return. They saw a picture of the CPA’s dog and asked if they had told the CPA that their dog had puppies earlier in the year. The CPA said no, and the couple went on to tell the CPA that they sold all six of the puppies for $400 each.

The CPA did the math and informed the couple that they had to count the $2,400 as income. The couple then quickly restated their position, and said, “Oh, I’m sorry, we meant we did have six puppies, but they all died, and we’re still in mourning.”

Didn’t You Know Deductions And Credits Are Physical Objects?

A CPA completed a tax return for a partnership that owned several hospitals and sent a cover letter that said, among other things, “each partner should pick up his or her share of deductions and credits on the applicable line of their personal tax returns.”

The CPA received a call from one of the partners asking if the CPA could tell him where he needed to pick up his deductions and credits. The CPA tried to refer him back to the letter, but the partner said, “No, you don’t understand. I want to know where to come to pick up my deductions and credits.”

Taking Care Of The Animals

A client who passed away stipulated in her will that the beneficiary was required to provide food, shelter, and medical care to her animals during their lifetimes or be stripped of his inheritance. The executor of the will became quite upset when he learned that those expenses were not tax deductions on the estate’s income tax return.

The Cost Of Looking Good

A business owner asked his CPA if he could deduct the cost of his haircut. The CPA said no. The owner’s argument: getting regular haircuts is a legitimate business expense because having short hair is essential to attracting customers to his construction business.

Oh, The Bahamas!

A business owner and his family took a spring break vacation to the Bahamas. Several other couples, who happened to be customers of the business, joined the family on the trip.

The business owner asked his CPA if he could deduct the cost of his family’s trip because having the customers along made it a “business trip.” The CPA said no.

Towing Equipment By Any Other Name…

In reviewing the prior corporation tax returns of a potential physician client, a CPA noticed depreciation schedules for “towing equipment.” When the CPA asked the client for an explanation, the doctor replied, “ski boat.”

Those “Ought To Be” Deductions

Every year, one client brings his CPA all of his receipts and three stacks of cancelled checks. They’re labeled: ought to be, should be, and may be, for the expenses he’s paid throughout the year that he thinks might be tax deductions. An example of the ought to be deductions: the expenses for his daughter’s coming-out party.

Taxes In Wartime

One CPA had a Navy officer in charge of logistics for nine states come in with his tax return already prepared for the CPA to look over. He said, “I don’t have time to mess with these taxes. I have a war to run.”

Ask A CPA

Contact a local CPA for more information about legitimate tax deductions and credits.

ABOUT TSCPA

TSCPA (http://www.tscpa.org) is a nonprofit, voluntary, professional organization representing Texas CPAs. The society has 20 local chapters statewide and has 27,000 members, one of the largest in-state memberships of any state CPA society in the United States. TSCPA is committed to serving the public interest with programs that advance the highest standards of ethics and practice within the CPA profession.